{"id":1156,"date":"2015-06-01T04:46:55","date_gmt":"2015-06-01T11:46:55","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.gii-usa.org\/sjc\/?p=1156"},"modified":"2021-03-07T18:15:31","modified_gmt":"2021-03-08T02:15:31","slug":"the-mens-thesaurus","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.gii-usa.org\/sjc\/2015\/06\/01\/the-mens-thesaurus\/","title":{"rendered":"THE MEN’S THESAURUS"},"content":{"rendered":"

<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n
THE MEN’S THESAURUS<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/thead>\n
Author:<\/td>\nRev. Timotius Tjing<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Posted on:<\/td>\n2015-06-01 20:31:39<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
 <\/td>\n<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n

\u201cMen don\u2019t always say what they mean\u201d \u2013 ladies, please allow me to translate for your future benefit<\/p>\n

Copied from: Grace Baptist Church. Decatur, IL 62526<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

When a man says \u201cIT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN\u201d<\/p>\n

He means: “I have no idea how it works”<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

When a man says “TAKE A BREAK, HONEY. YOU ARE WORKING TOO HARD\u2019\u2019<\/p>\n

He means: “I can\u2019t hear the game over the vacuum cleaner”<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

When a man says \u2019THAT\u2019S INTERESTING DEAR.\u2019<\/p>\n

He means: “Are you still talking?”<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

When a man says: “IT\u2019S A GUY THING”<\/p>\n

He means: “There is no rational thought pattern connected with this, and you have no chance at all of making it logical”<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

When a man says “CAN I HELP WITH DINNER”<\/p>\n

He means: “Why isn\u2019t it ready yet?”<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

When a man says “UH HUH, SURE HONEY,\u201d or \u201cYES, DEAR”<\/p>\n

He means: Absolutely nothing \u2013 It\u2019s a conditioned response.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

When a man says “YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY MEMORY IS.”<\/p>\n

He means: ” I can remember the theme song to \u2018Hogan\u2019s Heroes\u2019, the phone # of the first girl I ever kissed & the vehicle identification numbers of every car I ever owned \u2013 but yes, I forgot your birthday”<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

When a man says \u2019OH, DON\u2019T FUSS, I JUST CUT MYSELF. IT\u2019S NO BIG DEAL”<\/p>\n

He means: “I have probably severed a limb, but I will bleed to death before I admit I\u2019m hurt, so get over here and help me!”<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

When a man says \u2019I CAN\u2019T FIND IT.\u2019\u2019<\/p>\n

He means: “It didn\u2019t fall into my outstretched hand, so I\u2019m completely clueless”<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

When a man says \u201cI HEARD YOU.\u201d<\/p>\n

He means: “I haven\u2019t the foggiest clue what you just said and I am hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you\u2019ll not spend the next 3 days yelling at me.”<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

When a man says “YOU KNOW I COULD NEVER LOVE ANYONE ELSE”<\/p>\n

He means: “I am used to the way you yell at me and realize it could be worse.”<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

When a man says “YOU LOOK TERRIFIC!”<\/p>\n

He means: “Oh please don\u2019t try on one more outfit, we\u2019re late and I\u2019m starving.”<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

When a man says “I\u2019M NOT LOST. I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE.\u2019\u2019<\/p>\n

He means: \u00a0“No one will ever see us alive again.”<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

When a man says \u201cI DON\u2019T THINK I CAN GO TODAY.\u201d<\/p>\n

He means:\u00a0 Shopping is NOT a sport, and no, I am never going to think of it that way.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

When a man says, \u201cI DON\u2019T REMEMBER SAYING THAT.\u201d<\/p>\n

It\u2019s because he means:\u00a0 \u201cAnything I may have said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all past comments become null and void after 7 days.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

When a man says, \u201cTHAT IS NOT WHAT I MEANT.\u201d<\/p>\n

He means:\u00a0 \u201cIf something I said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, I meant the other one.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

If your husband says, \u201cHONEY, WHAT COLOR IS THIS?\u201d<\/p>\n

He means:\u00a0 ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. I have no idea what \u201ctaupe\u201d is.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

HAPPY FATHER\u2019S DAY 2015<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

THE MEN’S THESAURUS Author: Rev. Timotius Tjing Posted on: 2015-06-01 20:31:39   \u201cMen don\u2019t always say what they mean\u201d \u2013 ladies, please allow me to translate for your future benefit Copied from: Grace Baptist Church. Decatur, IL 62526   When a man says \u201cIT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN\u201d He means: “I have no […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":19,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":"","_links_to":"","_links_to_target":""},"categories":[22,30],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1156","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-articles","category-christian-humor"],"meta_box":{"imic_strict_no_header":"","imic_page_topbar_show":"","imic_page_specific_header":"","imic_page_logo_image":[],"imic_page_retina_logo_image":[],"imic_page_retina_logo_image_width":"","imic_page_retina_logo_image_height":"","imic_page_layout":"","imic_content_width":"","imic_content_padding_top":"","imic_content_padding_bottom":"","imic_pages_body_bg_color":"","imic_pages_body_bg_image":[],"imic_pages_body_bg_wide":"","imic_pages_body_bg_repeat":"","imic_pages_content_bg_color":"","imic_pages_content_bg_image":[],"imic_pages_content_bg_wide":"","imic_pages_content_bg_repeat":"","imic_page_header_show":"","imic_pages_Choose_slider_display":"0","imic_header_image":[],"imic_pages_select_revolution_from_list":"[rev_slider alias=\"sjc\"]","imic_pages_select_smart_from_list":"","imic_pages_slider_height":"","imic_pages_slider_image":[],"imic_pages_slider_auto_slide":"yes","imic_pages_slider_speed":"","imic_pages_slider_pagination":"yes","imic_pages_slider_direction_arrows":"yes","imic_pages_slider_effects":"fade","imic_pages_banner_color":"","imic_pages_breadcrumb_show":"","imic_pages_title_show":"","imic_pages_banner_bg_color":"","imic_post_page_custom_title":"","imic_pages_banner_text_color":"","imic_pages_title_alignment":"","imic_page_social_share":"","imic_select_sidebar_from_list":"","imic_select_sidebar_position":"","imic_post_custom_description":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.gii-usa.org\/sjc\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1156","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.gii-usa.org\/sjc\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.gii-usa.org\/sjc\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.gii-usa.org\/sjc\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/19"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.gii-usa.org\/sjc\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1156"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.gii-usa.org\/sjc\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1156\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1157,"href":"https:\/\/www.gii-usa.org\/sjc\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1156\/revisions\/1157"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.gii-usa.org\/sjc\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1156"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.gii-usa.org\/sjc\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1156"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.gii-usa.org\/sjc\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1156"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}